Folding skills and horses/cows.

Evening kids. And welcome back after my longest break between blogging of a whole 16 days. And there you were thinking I’d gone forever. Sorry about that.

Anyway a few days ago right, I was at a fish and chip shop near my grandparents (that’s the kind of healthy life I lead) and the person who served me had the fastest folding skills I have ever seen. Like ever. This may seem like a rather underwhelming and pointless talent to be blessed with, but seriously it was crazy. She folded those chips up like her life depended on it. So, naturally I asked if I could film her folding to put on my blog.

No I didn’t. I’m not quite at that level of nerdiness yet. I wish I had though, I can see you all now- the looks of shock and wonder on your faces as you played and replayed this video of insane folding power. But I’m afraid you’ll just have to use your imaginations to see it.

I also ended up going on a ‘fun’ walk in the countryside with my family which went around some cow-patted field somewhere in some town. We spent a good ten minutes of the walk debating over whether or not a horse in a field had a white coat on or was naturally patterned that way. That’s just a taste of how cultured and exciting family conversations get. It turned out to be a cow.

We also came along a large stretch of electric fence that we had to walk alongside. This made me extremely jumpy as I had a nasty encounter with one when I was younger. So every time anyone stepped within one metre of them I practically screamed at them to “GET AWAY FROM THAT EVIL THING YOU IDIOT!” By the time we finished I was a wreck.

And that’s about it in terms of life updates. 15 blogless days summed up in one beautiful moment of super-speedy folding. Oh, and my older sister’s back from uni for the weekend, which means that the TV has been well and truly taken over and will remain so for the next 24 hours. I usually end on a witty note, so I thought I’d ask you this- do you know any living soul who would ever consider buying this?

That is all.

A serendipitous enlightenment and an ounce of tomfoolery.

This morning I made a delectible discovery; I had just been surreptitiously organising my fruit-bowl when I happened to chance upon a rounded diaphanous jar of tesco's finest spread of chocolate. Despite it's high amount of sugars and fats (Maltodextrin to name but one) I find that a chocolate based spread is an indulgence far too sublime for one to simply bypass. Just a trifle of such an extravagance every fortnight or so is sure to do little or no harm by any case.

I decided that the best form in which my spread could be consumed would be on a slice of lightly grilled bread. I briefly considered my options before extracting a slice of tesco's finest whole grain bread. Something about the concinnity of smooth, silky chocolate on a bed of fresh, crisp bread awakes a certain voracious nature within my being which more often than not precipitates in the particular sustenance of subject being consumed at a rapid rate.

Such joyous moments in life, such as in the context aforementioned, are to be treasured on high, amongst all other euphoric experiences that come to pass. However, it is time that this episode of virtual journalism drew to a close, as I have a momentus amount of college work to immerse myself into.

xxxx 

Okay, and now to explain. Yesterday I had the bright idea of doing a spoof of my good friend Rachel's blog (click here) as she tends to use a lot of very VERY posh language. Not to take anything away from it though, it's really good. Just really intelligent, though this spoof may only be funny if you've read her blog before. And before you tell me off for being a meany, I did ask her permission and recieved a resouding response ("...yeah if you want to")
Back to normal next time, because all that thesaurus work was a killer. And the spellcheck. Geez.

Getting a job.

Recently I've noticed there's been a bit of a lull in the whole blogging thing with people. This is probably because people have decided to get on with their lifes and focus on more important things than blogging. I, on the other hand am far too sad to give it up and far too much of a slacker to focus wholly on college. So there we go, I will strive to keep this blog going for as long as I live. Or you die of boredom.

So anyway, as I'm now fully a student don't you know, I've decided that my lack of money is really just quite annoying now so I've been doing a bit of job hunting. Why do they call it that- job 'hunting'? In my case it's more job 'running-after-lamely-and-pleading-in-a-high-pitched-voice'. But I suppose 'hunting' is a little easier to say.

I've been handing out CVs in virtually every shop I pass at the moment
(not John Anthony mind, that shop is scary- see an older post Scary Shops for more on that)
and I even got an on-the-spot interview at a clothes shop. They didn't phone back. At one shop, after handing out my CV, I was asked what weekdays I would be available to work on.

"Eeeeuhhh Mondays" I blurted out to my horror, realising as soon as I'd said it that mondays are the only days of the week I'm NOT available. I stood there in awkward silence pondering whether or not to correct what I'd said. On the one hand I needed to say what days I would actually be able to work, but then it'd make me seem unproffesional and a bit, er, goofy. So I just stood there dumbly for about 15 seconds whilst the cogs clicked around in my head. I had to tell them in the end. They haven't phoned back.

So the search continues. I'll just have to bear with my skintness for a bit longer. It's not all that bad not having a job anyway. You have way more free time to see people and uhh...write blogs.

Rightyho, time to end on a more positive note I think. So here you go:

I'm sorry, but whoever made this is an actual genius. Full Stop. Night.